Russ Stewart: London, June 2024

An homage to 70s cop shows….

Scene setting 1.
An oversized car sweeps into an expanse of Southern Californian
suburban driveway.

Wheels spinning backwards…. Akin to water draining counterclockwise in Australian sinks/basins?

Geographical anomaly?
Coriolis Effect gone haywire?

Scene setting 2.
Framing shot of an imposing glass and chrome building.
Conveys reassurance that subsequent action takes place in an office (as opposed to an igloo or underwater).

The Saint: international travel inferred via library footage of a passenger jet.
Our hero being followed by a swarthy, shifty johnny foreigner type eying up his target from a battered old Fiat.

Back to Southern California: opening credits in large yellow font, often
accompanied with parallel voice over.
Acceptable yacht rock / funk groove theme music, often including a Larry Carlton guitar solo (always preferable to a Dennis Waterman knees up at the Dog and Duck).

New York based series grittier than its west coast cousin.
Telly Savalas cast his rumpled, hopeless actor brother in the Kojak series (I recruited Telly’s nephew, a highly commended Met Special Branch detective, into my team at KPMG 2003. He was, and remains, lavishly coiffed).

Californian actors did not resemble humans.
Devoid of blemish and unsnaggled of tooth, hair immobile. The “Palm Beach Helmet”. A confection of tint and lacquer that could withstand multiple blows from a rolled up copy of The Sporting Life.

Rockford Files.
Ace TV critic Clive James was hugely impressed by the back of the
hero (James Garner’s) head being completely flat.
A triumph of makeup?

The Sweeney. Top notch fare. Slightly spoiled by opening credits showing Regan’s
slip-on shoes. Cops prefer lace ups. Better for chasing footpads and persuading
miscreants of the futility of resisting arrest.

Hill Street Blues. My fave. Unnamed US city location reminiscent of, prior to
gentrification, Maryhill. A celebration of driechness.
Ambiguous characters. Larry Carlton noodling again.