It’s December – the one month of the year when children the world over fret their behaviour throughout the preceding eleven may have tested the patience of their parents. Hasty and repentant prayers will be offered up, not to the baby Jesus or his heavenly Father, but to the jolly, red-suited Big Daddy – Father Christmas!

Promises to keep their rooms tidy, be more understanding of younger brothers and sisters and study harder at school will precede a list of extravagant and very possibly utterly unobtainable presents that will have their parents bringing forward the next meeting with their therapist.

I was likely guilty as charged on the behaviour front, but as far as asking Santa for presents went, I think my Mum and Dad got it easy.

If I received anything to do with football I’d be happy. Football strips, football boots, track suits and football annuals were always top of my lists to Santa Claus. However, the one football related ‘toy’ most lads coveted, me being no exception, was Subbuteo.

Invented in Tunbridge Wells, Kent, back in 1946 by Peter Adolph, the table-top game is still played and enjoyed by all ages, male and female, to this day. In fact, the most recent ‘World Cup’ event was recently staged in the game’s birthplace and involved over three hundred players from twenty-six countries.

For those unfamiliar with the game, it’s played on a green cloth, sort of felt-like, I suppose, and each player has eleven little team members, mounted on rocking plinths. The aim is to pass a disproportionately large plastic ball between the players on your team and scoring a goal. Movement of the ball is done by flicking the player to push (kick) the ball.
The plastic players came in the team colours of all the major teams in the English and Scottish football leagues. Some from the lower divisions were also available, as were the more popular international teams.

I know all sports across the world will have their local rivalries, but here’s how serious things were here in the west of Scotland back in the late ‘60s / early ‘70s. Growing up in a Glasgow Rangers supporting family, I naturally had a Subbuteo team in my club’s royal blue colours. While on holiday one year (Penzance, Cornwall, if memory serves correct) I noticed the town’s toy shop had a team in the colours of Glasgow Celtic for sale.

I rushed back to our holiday B&B and told my dad what I’d found. I had pocket money to burn, and I worked up ‘courage’ to plead my case.
“Dad – can I spend ten shillings on a Celtic Subbuteo team? Then I can play Rangers -v- Celtic matches … and make sure Rangers win them all!”
“Knock yourself out, kid!”

I still haven’t worked out if my dad liked my thinking or if he was just not as petty and prejudiced as other adults I knew. But I did buy that Celtic team. And they did lose every match to Rangers! (I know, I know … no need for any present-day, observational comments at the foot of this post – times change; circumstances change. I get it. 😀 :-D)

Actually, I wasn’t very good a Subbuteo. Matches where I played myself and controlled both teams proved the bulk of the ‘wins’ in my win / loss record.

I’m not really a bad loser, but on reflection, my poor results weren’t just down to an overzealous finger. Just as our British football teams would discover when playing European Cup ties on the Continent, underhand tactics were often employed in the pursuit of a Subbuteo win.

Firstly, ‘home’ advantage played a huge part in the match result. For instance, most liked to play on a flat surface – just as real, quality football players do. 😉So, I would lay my cloth pitch on the back of some hardboard. The pitch was then easily smoothed out as it attached itself to the rough side of the board.

Job done. A pitch fit for Messi, himself.

However, certain friends were practitioners of Subbuteo dark arts – they would simply lay the pitch on top of their living room carpet!

Oh, horror of horrors! The result was a bumpy playing surface, ensuring random rolls of the ball. Trying to play a free-flowing game of Subbuteo on that was impossible. It truly was a leveller – like the Baseball Ground, home of Derby County back in the early 1970s. 😉
And that’s not the end of it. Frequently, should a result not be going the way of the unscrupulous home team, a feeble excuse to briefly leave the room would be offered by the host. A couple of minutes later, they’d reappear but leave the door ajar – just enough for their pet dog to make an excited entry, and run amok across the pitch, scattering the teams and resulting in a game postponement.

I have lots of happy memories playing Subbuteo. My friends and I would set up leagues and spend days on end competing in our own wee tournaments.

I remember too, that I was playing Subbuteo at my pal Derek’s house when I first heard the music of Rory Gallagher. Derek shared a room with his brother and Alan put on a record of Taste, the band Rory had just left to go solo. It totally blew my twelve-year-old mind.
(I was playing Subbuteo as Chile that day, and the track played was ‘Catfish’ … funny the things you remember from fifty-four years ago when you often forget the reason for walking upstairs in your home.)

Football strips back in the Sixties and Seventies were not the garishly coloured fashion statements they are today. The choice of colours and combinations were limited, so the ten different Subbuteo teams I owned could double up as at least another ten, meaning games could be played involving clubs from far and wide. For instance, rather than Rangers beating Celtic again ( I tell you, it was getting so monotonous 😉 ) the same Subbuteo teams could have seen Everton play a European tie against Sporting Lisbon.

My favourite (Subbuteo) team was Blackpool. They had tangerine-coloured tops, white shorts and white socks. Queens Park Rangers (blue and white hoops, white shorts and socks) ran them close. Other teams I remember having, in addition to Rangers and Celtic, were Tottenham Hotspur, Norwich City, Manchester City, Manchester United (they also lost a lot! 😉) Falkirk and Dunfermline Athletic.

All my teams are now stashed away in the loft but sadly, I couldn’t find them when I recently searched. I reckon my wife has enjoyed burying them under heaps of cushions and garden furniture. She’d be worried if I did uncover them, I’d be looking to commandeer the dining room table and blow next month’s pension on a miniature grandstand, fencing, floodlights and a pie hut to create that authentic stadium feel.

But I’ll have the last laugh …

“Santa? I’ve been a good boy this year. Really, I have …”

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** If you’re wondering about the relevance of the game’s name it resulted from the inventor initially calling it simply ‘Hobby.’ However, the Patent Office ruled the name not specific enough, so Adolph, being a keen birdwatcher decided to name it, after the Eurasian hobby hawk … Falco Subbuteo. **

(Post by Colin ‘Jackie’ Jackson, from Glasgow – December 2024)