Now. Have you got the 1970s Christmas singles checklist there ?

Yup !

What’s on it ?

Sleigh bells.

Sleigh bells ? Is that all ?

So far.

OK. Add tubular bells.

Cowbells ?

No, enough bells for now. A slightly sharp children’s choir instead.

How about a very sharp Japanese performance artist ?

That’s John isn’t it. There’s always one ! Lots of mention of Christmas – happy, merry, lonely if you must.

Even from those four Brummy bovver boys ?

I suppose so. Plenty of references to snow, lots of white, dream and something to rhyme with that.

I dream of a white supreme Christmas ?

Might be sending the wrong message but keep it in reserve. Trump might use it on his campaign trail.

How about ending war ?

That’s bloody John again, isn’t it !

There’s a guy here from a high profile prog rock trio who wants to sing about believing in Santa.

Oh for f^#k sake ! And who’s that wizardly guy with all the glitter on his face ?

That’s Roy. He’s got his own tubular bells……………french horn, cello, soprano sax etc. etc.

Tell him he’s no Phil Spector. What a racket ! I can’t imagine that getting much airplay each November in shopping centres up and down the land year after year !

What about this disparate bunch of Irish folk musicians who want to tell you a fairy tale of New York.

What’s that got to do with Christmas ? Tell them to come back next decade.

That’s it !

 I’ve had it up to here. Bring out Bing again ……………and more sleigh bells !

(Post by John Allan from Bridgetown, Western Australia – December 2022)