Paul Fitzpatrick; December 2023

I read recently that this year’s Xmas #1 is likely to be The Pogues ‘Fairytale of New York’, but I would advise the Irish minstrels not to count their chickens, Wham’s ‘Last Christmas’ was a shoe-in after George Michael’s sad passing in 2016 but it got pipped at the post by Chuckie from Rugrats, or Ed Sheeran as he’s better known.

Since Ed, the Xmas charts have been dominated by a YouTuber obsessed with sausage rolls, but fortunately he’s ducked out this year, hopefully not due to type 2 diabetes.
This leaves the slot open for Wham, The Pogue’s or Slade, all of them a step in the right direction – proper Xmas songs topping the festive charts, just the way it should be.

I also read somewhere that Taylor Swift currently has 5 albums in the Top 10 album charts and that Ed Sheeran recently had 16 songs in the Top 20 singles charts.

This sounds bizarre but in truth I have no idea about the charts these days, my chart knowledge was cut-off at the knees when I stopped watching Top of the Pops, buying the NME and listening to Radio One on a regular basis, (probably since 1980 then!)

I miss the good old days when a crowd of us would huddle round a transistor radio to listen to the chart countdown on a Sunday before watching the results on TOTP the following Thursday.

We were invested in the charts back then, despite the absurdities – like Benny Hill keeping Bolan’s ‘Jeepster’ off the top spot, or Dawn’s ‘Knock Three Times’ blocking the Stones ‘Brown Sugar’.
Did Tony Orlando really have more UK fans than MIck Jagger or were the great British public just sniffing too much glue?

To be honest, I blame the Slosh!

Even if you weren’t a fan of a particular act, you always wanted the number one to be half decent, chiefly because you knew it would be played to death, although, I also held a strange notion that if the number one song was shit it reflected badly on the nation.

I expect this came from my weekly habit of comparing the the US and UK charts in the NME, frequently despairing at our bad taste. Like the time Paul Simon’s ’50 Ways to Leave Your Lover’ was number one in the US, whilst we had to suffer Slik’s “Forever and Ever’ (sorry Midge!)

Maybe it was just hype, but when it came to chart success, attaining Xmas #1 status brought additional kudos, especially in the 70s.

Things took a turn in 1973 however.

For much of the 60s, including Xmas, the Beatles dominated the charts, that was until Yoko and novelty songs came along, then from 1968 a run of oddball gems topped the festive charts…
Scaffold – Lily the Pink
Rolf Harris – Two Little Boys
Benny Hill – Ernie The Fastest Milkman in the West
Jimmy Osmond – Long Haired Lover from Liverpool.

Tired of charlatans winning the Xmas baubles and with Glam Rock at its peak, three masters of the genre came up with the same idea – to release a contemporary Christmas song that would blow the competition away, it would be like taking candy from a baby, what could go wrong?

Thus ushered the fabled ‘Xmas song war of 73’, when unbeknown to each other, Slade, Wizzard and Elton John all released Xmas anthems with the aim of securing the coveted top spot

The bookies struggled to pick a winner as all three were at the peak of their powers in 73.

Elton had just released the classic Goodbye Yellow Brick Road album and ‘Step Into Christmas’ would be his 9th consecutive top 30 UK hit.

Roy Wood’s Wizzard had hit the top spot twice already in 73 with ‘Angel Fingers’ and ‘See My Baby Jive’ so he was expecting more of the same with ‘I Wish it Could Be Christmas Every Day’

Slade had taken the charts by storm since ‘Coz I Luv You’ went to number one and were on a run of eight top 10 singles, four of them reaching the top position, so they were equally bullish about ‘Merry Christmas Everybody’

In the end it was a two horse race, Wizzard peaked at number 4, Elton peaked at number 24 and Noddy and the boys kept the number one spot warm for five weeks.

This started a trend of Xmas-themed songs getting to number one, with Mud, Johnny Mathis, Boney M, Shakin’ Stevens and Band Aid all carrying the baton.

Ironically, Elton’s ‘Step Into Christmas’ is my favourite Xmas pop song. I think I associate it with all the Xmas discos, parties and vibes of the time and it instantly transports me back to those carefree days whenever I hear it.

Despite its lowly UK chart position, you won’t be surprised to learn that ‘Step Into Christmas’ went to number one in America…. I told you our American cousins had taste!

For more Xmas song shenanigans please read John Allan’s excellent piece….
More Sleigh bells