Colin’s recent post about what he learned at Secondary School set me thinking … and yes, I too did actually learn some stuff – though not necessarily all academic in nature.

First thing I should say, is I’m way younger than Colin! The accompanying photo is from around 1977 /1978, when I was in second year at Renfrew High School and long after Colin had completed Sixth Year at his school. 😉

I don’t recall my PE teacher having any specific issues with gym shoes like Colin’s did, but I do think Mr Joiner harboured similar sadistic tendencies.

I loved basketball, football, cross country, etc, but really hated gymnastics. This was 100% because of Joiner! What part of “I’m scared of doing a forward roll on the horse” didn’t he understand?

That we had other teachers I did like and whose classes I enjoyed, peaked my future sporting interests. Danny Stevenson especially. Some of you might remember him – he was a goalie for St.Mirren and Rangers in the ‘70s. Even his encouragement to his pupils was humorous:
 “Oliphant shift yer arse, there’s a snail that’s faster than you!”

Years later I got to know him even better as he became a referee (like me) and was our weekly training sessions coach. We’d also be teamed up as linesmen in the Juniors (the old term for Scottish ‘non-league’ football ) down in deepest, darkest Ayrshire!

My sister, five years my elder (and team captain) warned me about playing  hockey against the girls’ teams, as they were well primed and enjoyed the prospect of beating the crap out of boys’ teams, without sanction.

So, I avoided that experience!

Cricket. Ye can have yer baseball – I liked the sound of leather on willow (ooh err missus!) I wasn’t great, but was a reasonable off-spin bowler … and a walking duck as a batsman sadly. But hey, one out of two ain’t bad,

I even played for the school. OK Renfrew High v Trinity High was essentially just the Babcock & Wilcox youth section playing an internal ‘friendly’, but I’m having it as school representation!

What else do I remember?

Social Dancing classes: the year is 1977 and us 1st years are permanently scarred –  every dance be it waltz, two step, Canadian Barn or even Dashing White Sergeant, is done to the sound of Wings and ‘Mull of Kintyre!’

With my ‘geeky, statto’ tendencies, I was more geared for my hobby of plane -spotting and playing chess. Of course, this combination made me a target for  constant “Michael extraction”!

Did I care? Not a bit, I was painfully shy and that just helped me get through the days. I knew what I liked and was good at! File that under dealing with loneliness too!

As for fancying anyone, who didn’t fancy a teacher?  I can’t remember her name but we had a really gorgeous Maths teacher in 3rd year. She had an infamous ‘wardrobe malfunction’ one day (when I wasn’t in class) that many felt wasn’t a simple accident!

 There was also a French exchange teacher, Mademoiselle Roche. Ooh la la! –  as they say in Germany. 😉

Being shy definitely didn’t help me, nor did telling one of my classmates which girl I did fancy, only for “Elly (my surname is Oliphant … get it?!)  fancies Frog Face!” to spread like wildfire round the classroom! Needless to say, I didn’t share that assessment of the said young lady, but shamefully never did anything about it!

Oh yeah, and overseas trips. Unlike Colin (maybe he’s mentioned this before?) I didn’t miss out on any – principally because Renfrew High didn’t go on any during my time. I’m told, again by my sister, that following an “incident in Belgium,” the powers-that-be banned them!

The closest we got was infamous Tech teacher Jack Dunlop organising a trip to Blackpool Air Show in 1980. He tried to organise one to Paris Air Show the following year but that didn’t get off the ground! (Boom boom!) 😊

There were good days and there were bad days.

I’ve never been to a reunion, but you know what, I basically remember my six years at Renfrew High very fondly and still keep in touch with a few friends from those days.

(Post by Robert Oliphant from Hamilton – April 2024)